It’s such a pain….sharing your life with another.
This blog was supposed to be a 360 photo blog that chronicled the mundane trivial things that comprised my life. But now with a new year comes a new set of rules that will govern not only this blog but my life as a whole. So much has changed since the first day that I started this thing.But over all I feel that it will in fact carry the same melodramatic tempo that the old carried. Lets start with something new….I’m gay.
Most would have you believe that this is a predetermined fate. I’m not one of those people. No one person is whole “straight” or “gay” (this is my heartfelt belief) but it is a conscience decision that brings us to the point as to which fork in the road that it is we will walk along. If not to make matters worse I have chosen to take on the title of being “bi”. I still have a very strong attraction to members of the opposite sex, but it just so happens that it is a a member of the same sex that manage to make me swoon (honestly not too surprising, but that’s a story for another time).
I never wanted to find love. It was an option that I have always felt would lead me misery. However I supposed I should say that it is something I’ve not only longed for but knew would find me. Now that time has finally come to pass and it is every bit as confounding as I thought it would be.
As the long months grow on, these pages that I write will be my only solace. My sanctuary. And how my story will end I do not know. But at the point that I write these words I fear that it will not end well.
So welcome to a new year. A new set of tales. This is my life; my story for those of you who are subject to partaking in the practice of it: pray that it ends well.
Watch me heap up what I’ve sown
I’ve been away from this for a while. I’ll go into the reasons later. But yeah, I don’t know…….
I no longer have a sense of self. I don’t know what makes me happy, or what pisses me of anymore. I’m just going on auto-pilot at this point. I have much lined up at the moment to change that fact but, something still feels…………..wrong with me.I need a place of solidarity to clear my head and sort somethings out. It doesn’t really look like that’s in my future though. Yay for me on that note.I shouldn’t write these things when I’m drunk.Fuck it.
All your useless pretentions, are weighing on my time…
I can’t seem to stick to what I start…I’m trying hard though.
But I’ve been so sleepy as of late.
Temporarily pacify this hungering…
Finished watching SAC, then work on a UI project for most of the day.
What I need, what I need is that girl there…
All. Day. Long.
This is my notebook where I write random thoughts.
To the edge, till we all get off…
Did nothing, all day.
Very drunk right now.
Pondering thoughts of polysexuality….
I have very cool eyes.
Downloaded season one of Ghost in the Shell SAC, and I’ve pretty much been working on that all day. Got a pretty good idea for a Flash UI project rolling around in my head, we’ll see how far I get with that.
That was my day.
Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic…
Scariest fucking thing on the face of planet happened today.
My back-up (and only) internet connection went down for a few hours. I took it pretty well, I’d already planned to clean today, which I did (my room and the dishes). Then spent the rest of the day watching movies (Trainspotting and Goodfellas). By time everybody came home the connection was back up so yay for that. At the moment though I’m scheming to get our connection back up and running. Think I got a winner.